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Happy Monday everyone! I actually woke up at 5:45 and went to my 7am yoga class today so I’m already feeling hugely accomplished, plus since I’m funemployed I got to nap all morning afterwards! Hurray! I hope you are off to an equally good start this week! I wrote about a couple of events for tonight in an earlier post, so be sure to check that out.

This is the last week to check out Hiding Behind Comets, a  play by Brian Dykstra that the NYTimes calls “a dark, gritty story with its full measure of sex, violence, profanity and general nastiness.” Check it out at the Spoon Theater!

David Tully, Rebecca Challis and Kiran Malhotra in Hiding Behind Comets

David Tully, Rebecca Challis and Kiran Malhotra in Hiding Behind Comets

Tomorrow night celebrate Good Beer Month at the Local Grill-Off to benefit Slow Food! The event will be taking place at Water Taxi Beach, so you can check out the skyline while enjoying excellent food and beer! Get your tickets here.

In celebration of Good Beer Month, watch contestants show off their grilling skills using locally sourced ingredients in the Local Grill-Off to benefit Slow Food ($35). After sampling the entries, try locally sourced feasts from some the city’s top ‘cue joints (including Fette Sau, Rub BBQ and the soon-to-open Fatty Cue) and beers from Six Point Brewery.

Also on Tuesday you can embrace your inner geek at the launch party for a new weekly movie night at Teneleven– Classic Kung Fu Movie Night!

teneleven

On Wednesday those of you who are amongst the funemployed can further your education with a walking tour of the East Village focusing on the grittier side of its history:

This exciting walking tour covers everything from the Golden Age of the American gangster at the turn of the century to prohibition-era gang wars to the bohemian arts and drug culture of the 1960s, 70s and 80s. Some of the most influential and colorful criminals and characters in American history have called the East Village home — organized mobsters, social-political organizations, radical activists, religious cults, and everything in-between.

Trace the steps of everyone from Bugsy Siegel, Meyer Lansky, Al Capone, and Lucky Luciano to Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, The Hells Angels, GG Allin, and many many more. Riots, squatter evictions, cannibals, street gangs, kidnappings, shoot outs, assassinations, grave-robbers, hangings, bombings; we cover it all…

For a look at more recent history you can join the hipsters in McCarren Park for a screening of 24-hour Party People, a comedy documenting Manchester’s golden age of Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll. Check out the trailer:

On Thursday celebrate the great Jazz music written for piano at the 92Y Tribeca. Performers include pianists Mulgrew Miller, Eric Scott Reed, Renee Rosnes and Bill Charlap.

If it’s dancing you want head out to Hugs for another addition of Excess Energy‘s much lauded Love Machine party! DJs Brian Blackout and Fucci will be spinning the tunes while you connect with that hot stranger in the crowd through interactive messaging! The UK Magazine Grazia Daily will be there checking out the action; go show them what Wburg is all about!

Excess Energy

If you want to add some art to your week head over to the Soho20 Gallery in Chelsea for the opening of their new exhibit Boxing Gloves and Bustiers! The exhibit explores different concepts of female identity through video art. Here’s a still from one of the pieces:

Under My Skin by Valerie Garlick

Under My Skin by Valerie Garlick

Have an excellent week and stay tuned for additions!

NOTE: The Big Red Apple is now TheBigRedApple.net

To view this post at its new location click HERE!

One of our clients was arrested this morning so you’ll have to forgive me for posting a bit late (oh the exciting world of law).

Tonight you can learn all about black holes! Professor Janna Levin will give an hour-long lecture entitled:  Songs from Space: Black Holes and the Big Bang in Audio on Columbia’s campus in Lerner Hall:

Black holes may be heard but not seen. Black hole motions play out a song on space itself, causing space to ring like a drum. Since our ears are unable to catch their songs, the gravitational waves pass through us unnoticed. Monumental experiments on Earth and planned for space aim to record the sounds of space for the first time, turning on the soundtrack to the Universe.

Tomorrow at the 1889 Gallery you can contribute to the art community in Northern Brooklyn and see some interesting new works:

North Brooklyn Public Art Coalition (NbPac) proudly presents RE/PAINT RE/BUILD, a benefit for the India Street Mural Project. This project is the kickoff project for the North Brooklyn Public Art Coalition (NbPac). The NbPac is a new initiative whose goal is to work with local artists, community members, arts organizations and businesses in order to increase the presence of public art in North Brooklyn. By doing so, NbPac hopes to beautify, revitalize, and energize the Williamsburg, Greenpoint and Bushwick neighborhoods through public art. The event will occur in the atmosphere created by Gallery 1889’s ongoing RE/BUILD exhibition, which features design objects made from reclaimed materials. The benefit will feature local food and drink, music, live screenprinting, haircuts, and a silent auction. All proceeds will go to benefit the India Street Mural Project and NbPac. The event is co-produced by Susie Watkins.

Also on Wednesday, you can get a free chicken dinner and see Jack/Skippy McFadden (aka DJ French Toast) spin some hot dance tunes at The Bell House. Jack/Skippy McFadden is the booker for both Union Hall and The Bell House and the co-owner of the latter; as you know from the vast number of events at The Bell House that I’ve posted in the past, he has great taste! I’m sure he’ll get you over hump day smoothly.

Thursday is the big party night this week, with a plethora of amazing events to chose from.

If it’s not raining (one can only hope), you should join Gemini & Scorpio on a private rooftop (RSVP to find out where), where they’ll be screening two episodes of Firefly- the prematurely cancelled sci-fi TV series w/a cult following. Here are the opening credits:

Also contingent on the weather gods, William Kunstler: Disturbing the Universe will be shown outdoors as part of BAMcinemaFEST, which I wrote about last week.

ALSO at the whim of the weather gods, New York City Opera will perform The Magic Flute at Rockefeller Park River Terrace and Warren Street. The one-hour production will be sung in English, featuring outstanding soloists from the NYC Opera. This is one of three operas showing outside this week; I’ll be telling you about Friday and Saturday’s performances in my weekend post.

If it rains it’s not too late to sign up for the Exceptional Wealth Building Opportunities Event taking place at the Russian Tea Room. Settle down in a dark corner and share investment advice with other wily young players.

If you’re more interested in investing in your love life you’ll want to experience The Best of Craigslist: A Night of Monologues & Missed Connections at the 92Y Tribeca!

Don’t miss this satirical look at the cult-like culture surrounding the website that provides “local classifieds and forums for communities worldwide”.  Philip Galinsky (The Manhattan Monologue Slam), Adrianne Frost (The Daily Show, Best Week Ever) and Ben Hersey (Late Night w/ Conan O’Brien) have adapted some of the most outrageous Craigslist ads into comedic monologues. The results are classifiably hilarious. Who knows, maybe your “missed connection” will be at the show!

Last but certainly not least, I will be watching Top Gun get the Raspberry Brothers’ treatment at Clearview Chelsea Cinemas. It should be a great show, what with Top Gun being one of the most ridiculous films of the 80s! Come out and get your giggle on!

top gun

Have a good week and stay tuned for additions!

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To view this post at its new location click HERE!

Tomorrow, in addition to the events I’ve already mentioned, you can check out the dance party Libation at the Sullivan Room:

Tea Party Music and Manchildblack invite you to the mecca of global soul culture, Libation! Tonight, the bi-monthly dance party that Time Out NY hails as a “full-on throwdown” features DJ Ian Friday on the decks all night long. Come and check out why Libation has made Thursday the new Friday!

Libation

Friday night I already know of three events worth considering (more are likely to present themselves). First, you have a second chance to party in a Russian bathhouse if you missed the last one. Gemini and Scorpio will be making a different kind of heat at the Russian banya in Kensington.

The opening reception for Queenz Arrive, an exhibit of work by the matriarchs of graffiti art, is sure to be more exiting than your average gallery opening.

flyer_queensarrive

If you want to dance without stripping down to your bikini, check out the dance party Midnight Creep at the Bell House:

Brooklyn DJs RUT ROH and SOUL KOREA come to Brooklyn to present MIDNIGHT CREEP, the party that effortlessly weaves together hiphop, disco, new wave, funk, pop, house, and more for maximum dancefloor pandemonium!

On Saturday the Draw-a-Thon hits the TEATRO IATI THEATRE for a night filled with erotic poses, bound females, masturbation poses, lil girls, nudes on bikes, snugglers and other visually stimulating spectacles to bring out the artist in you!

If you want your erotic spectacle without the charcoal and drawing pad check out Little Banana Burlesque at the Bowery Poetry Club:

Miss Coney Island Pinup 2008 Kristen Lee presents Little Banana Burlesque…..sex, bananas & rock n’roll! Hosted by Rose Wood. Starring burlesque performers Atta Girl, Coco LaPearl, Della Dare, It’s a Little Stormy, Philly Caramel, Poppy T and Rosey LaRouge. Special variety act erotic singing sensation Charlie Demos. Raffle! Prizes! Bazooms! Bananas!

Finally, on Saturday 92Y Tribeca hosts FUSION 2009 Film Competition Finalists Showcase; the festival celebrates the work of women filmmakers at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts. Be the first to discover these talented directors and screenwriters!

Stay tuned for additions!

NOTE: The Big Red Apple is now TheBigRedApple.net

To view this post at its new location click HERE!

I’m feeling a tiny bit under the weather at the moment so you will have to forgive the brevity of this post. I’ve had several adventures worth relating this week.

On Monday I went to the Purim comedy act at the 92Y Tribeca, which I told you about in a previous post. I particularly liked the sketch modeled on ‘High School Musical.’ At the end the boy goes off with the girl against the wishes of his friends…

Girl: Oh no, you are going to leave those lousy friends of yours and go and do your school work. AND you are going to Medical School!

Boy: I have to go guys, I’ve been searching for a woman to replace my mother for my whole life!

You can watch clips of Shushan Channel’s sketches on their website.

On Wednesday I finally got around to seeing a film that was part of the Rendez-Vous with French Cinema Series, which I mentioned some time ago. I saw ‘The Joy of Singing’ at the IFC and it was truly French in every sense you can imagine. My friend L was not a big fan but she’s not nearly as much of a francophile as I am. If you missed the series check your Netflix- some of them will probably come out on DVD sometime soon-ish.

I also saw B spin at Hugs that night (I told you about this in advance as well); he was fantastic as always and while we couldn’t get much dancing going I have high hopes for next time since it’ll be warmer and more people will be willing to move from their warm apartments.

Friday night my friend M was having a ‘Blue Velvet‘ party so I wasn’t able to attend any other events. Afterall, I wouldn’t want to miss blue velvet cupcakes and crazy sadistic sex scenes (oh David Lynch!)!

Kyle MacLachlan and Isabella Rossellini in 'Blue Velvet'

Kyle MacLachlan and Isabella Rossellini in 'Blue Velvet'

Saturday afternoon my grandmother and I saw ‘Happiness’- a new musical now playing at Lincoln Center. It was adorable and heartwarming and altogether lovely, certainly not ground-breaking, but lovely.

HAPPINESS unfolds the stories of a dozen or so New Yorkers stuck in the morning rush of a stalled subway car and required by the spectral trainman to recall and re-enact the happiest moment in their lives before they can continue their travels… and travails.

HAPPINESS celebrates those fleeting moments in everyday lives — typically unanticipated, largely overlooked, always ephemeral — that upon reflection become people’s fondest memories

Happiness

Saturday night I saw the Young New Yorkers Chorus perform (mentioned this to you earlier). They were fantastic and I found the melodies, which are apparently based on ‘ancient chants’ to be very similar to some of the chants Jewish prayers are set to. I would be interested to look into the correlation further.

I’m off for the moment but I promise to get back to you with this week’s events shortly.

NOTE: The Big Red Apple is now TheBigRedApple.net

To view this post at its new location click HERE!

I am limiting this post to Mon-Wed as I haven’t yet pulled together a sufficient selection of events for Thurs (please forgive me; I’m still a bit exhausted from the last week).

Tonight there are several fantastic events to consider. If you’ve never celebrated Purim properly this is the year to embrace your inner Jew. The 92Y Tribeca is having a Purim party worth converting for (or at least worth practicing your kvetching):

Battlestar Megilactica. Frost/Haman. Hebrew School Musical. Join The Shushan Channel for its seventh hit year. Featuring all-new pop-culture Purim takes by writers from The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, The Simpsons, Frasier and more, this year’s extravaganza will be headlined by The Daily Show’s Wyatt Cenac, John Oliver and New York’s most-Purimtastic comic talent. Warm up for the show by entering our costume contest and you could win free tickets to 92YTribeca events. Get your grogger on and stuff yourself with Chef Russell’s gourmet hamantaschen. This is one party you won’t want to miss.

Now that sounds much more exciting than Lent.

If your inner art enthusiast is stronger than your inner Jew check out MOMA Monday Nights:

One Monday a month, MoMA stays open until 8:45 p.m. Drop in after hours on March 9 for an art hunt, exhibitions, films, entertainment, cash bar, and a bite to eat at Cafe 2—plus the first 600 ticket buyers after 5:30 p.m. will receive free admission on their next visit. On our Museum-wide art hunt (starts at 7:00 p.m.), rediscover the collection and compete for prizes including a private guided tour at MoMA, benefit party tickets, and exhibition catalogues.

Be sure not to miss the special exhibition Martin Kippenberger: The Problem Perspective (through May 11). A highlight is Kippenberger’s sculptural installation The Happy End of Franz Kafka’s “Amerika” (1994). Reimagining a scene toward the end of Kafka’s unfinished 1927 novel, it fills the Museum’s Marron Atrium with a vast, absurdist employment agency, in which the ritual of the job interview becomes a spectator sport.

Entry to Modern Mondays, the Museum’s weekly series of screenings with contemporary filmmakers that showcases innovation in film, is included in the cost of admission. On March 9, the Modern Mondays event will be An Evening with Jan Sikl and Ivan Passer, a film screening and conversation with two noted Czech directors, at 7:00 p.m. in the Roy and Niuta Titus 2 Theater.

Also tonight; Sarah Barron will be reading from her first book- People Are Unappealing at The Half King :

Unappealing people are everywhere. And they, like herpes, never ever go away. PEOPLE ARE UNAPPEALING, Sara Barron’s wickedly funny debut, spares no one—not even the author herself. Born the child of a hypochondriac mother and an effeminate father, Barron never stood a chance of being normal. At age eleven she started writing porn. At twelve she gets mistaken for a post-op trannie. By seventeen she’s appeared on the Jerry Springer Show.

On Tuesday you can demonstrate what you learned in your High School English Class at Union Hall. Mother Tongue: Spelling and Grammar for Grown-Ups is sure to become more and more absurd as the night (and the drinking) continues.

Also on Tuesday, SW has forwarded me a truly unique event- a performance of Balinese Shadow Puppetry and Masked Dance at Hunter College.

Balinese Shadow Puppetry and Masked Dance

Balinese Shadow Puppetry and Masked Dance

If that’s not your thing later in the evening George Gee and the Jump, Jivin Wailers will be performing at SWING46 Jazz & Supper Club.

On Wednesday get down to a very different beat at Hugs, where my friends Excess Energy will be spinning; celebrate the gorgeous weather with some warm-blooded selections by guest DJ Eugene Tambourine (Solid) and resident DJ Brian Blackout.

Excess Energy at Hugs

Excess Energy at Hugs

Finally, some advance notice: Jeffrey Tastes has pulled together a great list of St. Patrick’s Day celebrations taking place in the coming weeks.

Stay tuned for more events this week!

NOTE: The Big Red Apple is now TheBigRedApple.net

To view this post at its new location click HERE!

I had two fabulous adventures last week that I’ve been meaning to share in detail. On Wednesday night, as I informed you in advance, I went to see ‘Creative Misuses of Technology’ at the 92Y Tribeca. The program was as follows:

Jeremy Bailey: live demonstration of the SOS operating system — Jeremy will demonstrate his radical ideas for a new kind of operating system. This consisted of shapes that could be compelled to do various things if you threw them against the sides of the screen. The fact that it was explained in all seriousness made it very funny.

The Draftmasters + Daniel Iglesia: live pen plotter performance — a musical performance using old electro-mechanical pen plotters as a sound source. The pen plotters draw and the sound from their motors is amplified and processed. Meanwhile video of what they are drawing is turned into anaglyphic 3D and projected on the movie screen. 3D glasses provided! This may have been my favorite simply because it was so fucking absurd. The audience sitting around staring at robots drawing things and having them projected 3D, it was all just completely surreal.

Kelly Dobson: Omo/Blendie/Screambody — machine therapy and wearable body organs. I take it back; this was my favorite. It’s this thing that you wear like a baby carrier and it contains sound so you can scream into it when you need to scream. I could actually use one of these, particularly when the subway is just stopped in the tunnel for ages…. AAAAAH!

fur: Pain Station — losing should hurt. Disturbing. Deeply disturbing.

Daniel Greenfeld: mini-disasters — recreations of famous transportation disasters in miniature. I would have to go with weird on this one, kind of like the diorama’s you might have made in 4th grade.

Jon Kessler: Cape Carnival/Cookie Machine/Marcello 9000/Rowing Machine/Still Life (with pork chop)

LoVid: 486 shorts

Daito Manabe: face shock/face copy — Daito Manabe plays tones into electrodes connected to his face, causing muscle spasms. He then hooks up his friends and uses his face to control theirs. Fucking awesome- people making music with weird faces. Any child would have adored this.

Sam Pluta: data structures/monoliths ii (for chion) — live video cutup mayhem.

Ride the Planets: Rock Wings

Tetranitrate: Laser Tattoos — what not to do with a laser cutter. The most disgusting and frightening thing EVER. The creator was in the audience and provided pics of the wounds a week after. Traumatic.

Tom Sachs: A Film About a Space Program — an incredibly detailed mis-re-imagining of a NASA space mission.

Paul Slocum: You’re Not My Father — crowd-sourced video of strangers reenacting a clip from 1980s sitcom Full House.

You can find more information on the dorkbots and their various endeavors on their WEBSITE.

Friday night I managed to get to two parties and still get into APT for Michael T’s party. My friend B got us in (he’s one half of Excess Energy, and the other half, Fucci, was spinning). I’m sorry to anyone who failed to get in that night; APT can be kind of a fortress at times. Actually they were keeping the crowd to a reasonable level, which was great if you were able to get in since it meant you had room to dance. B is an amazing dancer and I always have a blast when we’re out together. We have developed a theory that where there are drag queens people will dance, and there were some great drag queens, like this lovely lady:

Drag Quen on the dance floor

Drag Queen on the dance floor

Close-up on the fabulousness

Close-up on the fabulousness

Fucci spun some great music:

Fucci at the helm

Fucci at the helm

The best part of the night though was when Michael T himself danced. Michael T dancing is like a series of poses and as the one with the camera flashing incessantly I was lucky enough to have some of those poses directed at me:

Michael T

Michael T

Michael T- check out those heels!

Michael T- check out those heels!

Michael T and his dance partner

Michael T and his dance partner

It was truly quite the party. Oh! One final story about it! I was waiting in line for the bathroom and this guy tried to pick me up with the most NY line EVER. He says to me, all cool and chic, “I work in PR and I could get you into the Michael Kors show next week.” Hahahahahaha… how NY is that?

I hope you all had a great V-day as well (mine was uneventful; I chose option 4 after I realized that the wonderful party I detailed in my last post was all the way the fuck out in Bushwick. Actually it’s for the best as my friends tell me it was broken up early by the cops!) I’ll be letting you know about this week’s events shortly!

NOTE: The Big Red Apple is now TheBigRedApple.net

To view this post at its new location click HERE!

Having spent the day sleeping, making myself grilled cheese and dancing around naked in my apartment to Passion Pit (thank god my roommate is never home), I believe I am prepared to survive the week on 5 hours of sleep a night!

On Monday, according to The New York Rock Market, the show to go to is Nous Non Plus @ Mercury Lounge. As a francophile anything described as

a (faux) French rock band that plays upbeat, joyous tunes ranging from simple love songs in French to parodies about Paris Hilton.

is pretty much ok by me. I’ve picked up two tickets and the first person to tell me they want to come along can have the second!

Tuesday is my grandmother’s 84th birthday so I’ll be out in Queens attempting to fit a giant sized sandwich into my mouth at Ben’s Kosher Deli, however, you may be interested in attending Pop Rally at MOMA. I really like the idea of artists as curators and I’ve been meaning to attend one of these for some time. Actually if you don’t have a day job (ex-investment banker?) you should get to the museum before it closes for the day and check out the Marlene Dumas exhibit; I saw it a few weeks ago and I really liked ‘High Heeled Shoes’

High Heeled Shoes by Marlene Dumas

High Heeled Shoes by Marlene Dumas

Wednesday I’m going to the new 92Y Tribeca for You’re Doing It Wrong: Creative Misuse of Technology, a series of short films featuring ummm… creative misuse of technology. I will probably always love the 92Y Tribeca because that is where I first saw Tiny Ninja Theater. I saw tiny ninjas perform ‘Romeo and Juliet’ and it was without a doubt the most hysterical Shakespeare I have ever witnessed.

"Hold, Tybalt! Good Mercutio!"  Mercutio (Trevor Bigfoot) vs. Tybalt (Brice Leigh)

"Hold, Tybalt! Good Mercutio!" Mercutio (Trevor Bigfoot) vs. Tybalt (Brice Leigh)

When the puppeteer walked in holding two white boxes (like the kind you get munchkins in from Dunkin Donuts) and said “Two households, both alike in dignity…” I knew my understanding of Shakespeare had changed forever.

Thursday I will probably try to see one of the Oscar movies I haven’t made it to yet; top of my list is Waltz with Bashir, which I’ve heard is fantastic. What I’d really love to do is check out one of the two photography exhibits I’ve been meaning to see but the museums aren’t open late enough for office lemmings to make it during the week. I want to see the new Walker Evans exhibit at the Met:

Walker Evans Postcard Exhibit @ Met

Walker Evans Postcard Exhibit @ Met

I also really want to get over to the International Center of Photography to check out some of the amazing photographs discussed in the NYTimes recently, for example, this one:

Tim Walker photograph

Tim Walker photograph

Friday I’ll be at Grassroots Tavern celebrating my friend S’s birthday but I want you to tell me all about your plans in case we need an awesome afterparty!

Have a fantastic week everyone!

Past Shenanigans

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